Really, an Eating Disorder?

Eating disorders are serious, biologically influenced medical illnesses characterised by significant disruptions in one’s eating behaviours. Although many people are concerned about their health, weight, or appearance on a regular basis, some people become fixated or obsessed with weight loss, body weight or shape, and food control. These could be symptoms of an eating disorder.

Eating disorders are not something that can be avoided. These disorders can have an impact on both physical and mental health. They can be life-threatening in some cases. However, with treatment, people can recover completely from eating disorders.

Who is in danger?

People of all ages, racial/ethnic backgrounds, body weights, and genders can suffer from eating disorders. Although eating disorders are most common in adolescence or early adulthood, they can develop in childhood or later in life (40 years and older). People suffering from eating disorders may appear healthy but are in fact very sick.

Although the exact cause of eating disorders is unknown, research suggests that a combination of genetic, biological, behavioural, psychological, and social factors can increase a person’s risk.

High perfectionism, impulsivity, harm avoidance, reward dependence, sensation seeking, neuroticism, and obsessive-compulsiveness are common personality traits associated with eating disorders (ED), as are low self-directedness, assertiveness, and cooperativeness.

Stressful events in life can cause disordered eating as a coping mechanism. People who have experienced a job loss, the death of a loved one, financial difficulties, relationship problems, or other stressors may turn to food for comfort. Alternatively, they could devise a strict diet.

Certain factors may raise one’s chances of developing an eating disorder:

  • A family tree. People who have parents or siblings who have had eating disorders are much more likely to develop an eating disorder.
  • Other mental health problems.
  • Dieting and fasting.
  • Stress.

Eating disorders are classified into several categories.

Anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge-eating disorder, and avoidant restrictive food intake disorder are examples of common eating disorders. Each of these disorders is characterised by distinct but sometimes overlapping symptoms. People who exhibit any of these symptoms may have an eating disorder and should be evaluated by a medical professional.

Anorexia Nervosa.

Anorexia is a serious mental health condition as well as an eating disorder. Anorexics try to maintain their weight as low as possible by not eating enough food or exercising excessively, or both. They may become very ill as a result of this because they begin to starve. They may also weigh themselves several times. Even if they are dangerously underweight, they may perceive themselves to be overweight.

Anorexia nervosa is classified into two subtypes: restrictive and binge-purge.

Restrictive: People with anorexia nervosa’s restrictive subtype severely limit the amount and type of food they consume.

Binge-Purge: People with anorexia nervosa’s binge-purge subtype also severely restrict the amount and type of food they consume. Furthermore, they may have binge-eating and purging episodes, in which they eat a large amount of food in a short period of time followed by vomiting or using laxatives or diuretics to get rid of what they ate.

Anorexia nervosa symptoms include:

  • Extreme calorie restriction and/or intense and excessive exercise.
  • Extreme slenderness (emaciation).
  • An obsession with thinness and an unwillingness to maintain a normal or healthy weight.
  • Intense fear of gaining weight.
  • Body or self-image distortion caused by perceptions of body weight and shape.
  • Denial of the gravity of underweight.

Anorexia nervosa can have a number of serious health consequences over time:

  • The bones are thinning (osteopenia or osteoporosis).
  • Anemia is mild.
  • Muscle atrophy and weakness.
  • Hair thinning or hair loss.
  • Skin that is dry and yellowish.
  • Itching.
  • Fine hair growth all over the body (lanugo).
  • Constipation is severe.
  • Blood pressure is low.
  • Breathing and pulse rate have slowed.
  • Damage to the heart’s structure and function.
  • Internal body temperature drops, causing a person to feel cold all of the time.
  • Lethargy, sluggishness, or persistent tiredness.
  • Infertility.
  • Damage to the brain.
  • Failure of multiple organs.

Anorexia nervosa is potentially fatal. When compared to other mental disorders, it has an extremely high death (mortality) rate. Anorexics are at risk of dying from medical complications related to starvation. Suicide is the second leading cause of death in anorexia nervosa patients.

Bulimia Nervosa.

Bulimia nervosa is a disorder in which people have recurring episodes of eating unusually large amounts of food and feeling out of control of their eating. This binge eating is followed by compensatory behaviours such as forced vomiting, excessive use of laxatives or diuretics, fasting, excessive exercise, or a combination of these behaviours. People with bulimia nervosa, unlike those with anorexia nervosa, can be normal or overweight.

Symptoms of bulimia nervosa include:

  • Chronically inflamed and painful throat.
  • Salivary glands in the neck and jaw are swollen.
  • Worn tooth enamel and increasingly sensitive and decaying teeth as a result of vomiting-induced stomach acid exposure.
  • Other gastrointestinal issues, such as acid reflux.
  • Laxative abuse causes intestinal distress and irritation.
  • Purging causes severe dehydration.
  • Electrolyte imbalance (too little or too much sodium, calcium, potassium, and other minerals) can result in stroke or heart attack.

Binge eating syndrome.

Binge-eating disorder is a condition in which people lose control of their eating and experience recurring episodes of eating abnormally large amounts of food. In contrast to bulimia nervosa, binge eating is not followed by purging, excessive exercise, or fasting. As a result, people suffering from binge eating disorder are frequently overweight or obese.

Binge eating syndrome:

  • Eating unusually large amounts of food in a short period of time, such as two hours.
  • During binge episodes, eating quickly.
  • Eating even when not hungry or full.
  • Eating until you’re stuffed.
  • To avoid embarrassment, eat alone or in private.
  • Eating causes, you to feel distressed, ashamed, or guilty.
  • Dieting frequently, possibly without weight loss.

Disorder of avoidant restrictive food intake.

ARFID (avoidant restrictive food intake disorder), formerly known as selective eating disorder, is a condition in which people restrict the amount or type of food they eat. People with ARFID, unlike those with anorexia nervosa, do not have a distorted body image or an extreme fear of gaining weight. ARFID is most common in middle childhood and typically manifests itself earlier than other eating disorders. Many children go through picky eating phases, but a child with ARFID does not consume enough calories to properly grow and develop, and an adult with ARFID does not consume enough calories to maintain basic body function.

ARFID symptoms include:

  • Restriction of the types or amount of food consumed.
  • a lack of appetite or food interest.
  • Significant weight loss.
  • No other known cause of upset stomach, abdominal pain, or other gastrointestinal issues.
  • A limited selection of preferred foods that becomes even more limited (“picky eating” that worsens over time).

Dysmorphia of the Muscles.

Muscle dysmorphia, unlike most eating disorders, affects more men than women. A disruptive obsession with musculature and physique characterises the disorder. The individual will become obsessed with achieving the ‘ideal’ form of musculature.

Eating disorders are treatable.

Eating disorders can be successfully treated. Early detection and treatment are critical for complete recovery. Suicide and medical complications are more likely in people with eating disorders.

A person’s family can play an important role in their treatment. Family members can encourage someone who is struggling with eating or body image issues to seek help. They can also offer support during treatment and be an invaluable ally to both the individual and the health care provider. According to research, involving the family in eating disorder treatment can improve treatment outcomes, particularly for adolescents.

Eating disorder treatment plans:

  • Restoring proper nutrition.
  • Getting back to a healthy weight.
  • Excessive exercise should be avoided.
  • Stopping binge-eating and binge-purge behaviours.

Psychotherapy: A mental health professional can advise you on the most appropriate psychotherapy for your situation. Cognitive behavioural therapy helps many people with eating disorders (CBT). This type of therapy assists you in understanding and changing distorted thought patterns that drive your behaviours and emotions.

The Maudsley approach: This type of family therapy assists parents of anorexic teenagers. Parents actively guide their children’s eating habits as they develop healthier habits.

Medications: Some people with eating disorders also have anxiety or depression. These conditions can be improved by taking antidepressants or other medications. As a result, your perceptions of yourself and food improve.

Nutritional counselling: A registered dietitian with eating disorder training can assist in improving eating habits and developing nutritious meal plans. This expert can also provide advice on grocery shopping, meal planning, and preparation.

The best treatment approach is frequently a collaboration of all of these professionals to achieve a comprehensive treatment that addresses the physical, mental, and behavioural aspects.


If eating disorders run in your family, being aware of the warning signs is a good place to start in order to catch the problem early. Prompt treatment can help to break unhealthy eating habits before they become more difficult to break. You can also reduce your chances of developing an eating disorder by seeking treatment for issues such as depression, anxiety, and OCD.

Eat healthily and avoid referring to food as “good or bad” to set a good example for your family. Do not diet, discuss dieting, or make disparaging remarks about your body.

A word about health:

Eating disorders are a serious issue that can have a negative impact on both your mental and physical health. Don’t be embarrassed to seek help if you believe you have an eating disorder. Every day, millions of people struggle with an eating disorder. You can get better with proper medical care and mental health counselling. Years of living with an untreated eating disorder can harm your physical health and even lead to death. Talking to your healthcare provider is the first step toward protecting your health.

Emotional Appeal (Emotional Blackmail)

Emotional blackmail, like traditional blackmail, involves someone attempting to obtain something from you. Instead of using your secrets against you, they use your emotions to manipulate you.

Emotional blackmail is the process by which an individual makes demands and threatens another person in order to manipulate them into giving them what they want. It is a form of psychological abuse that harms the victims. Their demands are frequently designed to control a victim’s behaviour in unhealthy ways.

This type of blackmail is as serious as physical abuse because it leaves the victim feeling less than themselves, with low self-esteem, in a fog of fear, obligation, guilt, and a slew of other emotional and psychological imbalances.

People with borderline personality disorder are more likely to resort to emotional blackmail (as too are destructive narcissists). Their actions, however, may be impulsive and motivated by fear and a desperate sense of hopelessness, rather than the result of any deliberate plan.

Severe emotional abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse, contributing to depression and low self-esteem. Chronic conditions such as fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome may be exacerbated by emotional abuse. Emotional abuse occurs when one person uses fear, humiliation, and other isolating tactics to manipulate another. It’s critical to recognise this behaviour early on so you can help yourself or a loved one.

You should ignore your manipulator and refrain from reacting to everything they say. They have researched your triggers and anticipate that you will respond to their bait. If you keep ignoring them, they will eventually come around or leave your life.

Emotional blackmail goes through several stages:


A demand is made in the first stage of emotional blackmail. “I don’t think you should hang out with so-and-so anymore,” the person may say explicitly. They could also make it more subtle. When you see that friend, they pout and sarcastically speak (or not at all). “I don’t like how they look at you,” they say when you ask what’s wrong. They don’t seem to be good for you.” Sure, they disguise their demand as concern for you. However, it is still an attempt to exert control over your choice of friend.


If you refuse to do what they want, they will most likely push back. “You’re not insured, so I’m not comfortable letting you drive my car,” you could say directly. If you’re concerned about how they’ll react to a flat refusal, you could resist more subtly by:

  • I forgot to put gas in the car.
  • Leaving your keys at home.
  • I’m not saying anything and hoping they’ll forget.


In healthy relationships, people still express their needs and desires. When you express resistance in a normal relationship, the other person usually responds by dropping the issue or making an effort

to find a solution together. A blackmailer will put you under pressure to meet their demand in a variety of ways, including:

  • Reiterating their demand in a way that makes them appear good (for example, “I’m only thinking of our future”).
  • List the ways in which your resistance harms them.
  • “If you really loved me, you’d do it,” she says.
  • You are being criticised or degraded.


Threats can be direct or indirect in emotional blackmail:

Direct danger. “I won’t be here when you get back if you go out with your friends tonight.”

Indirect danger. “If you are unable to stay with me tonight when I require you, perhaps someone else will.”

They may also disguise a threat as a positive promise: “If you stay home tonight, we’ll have a much better time than you would if you went out.” This is critical to our relationship.”

While this may not appear to be a serious threat, they are still attempting to manipulate you. While they do not explicitly state the consequences of your refusal, they do imply that continuing to resist will harm your relationship.


Of course, you don’t want them to follow through on their threats, so you give up and surrender. You may be wondering if your opposition to their request was justified. Compliance can be a gradual process as they wear you down with pressure and threats over time. When you give up, chaos gives way to peace. They have what they want, so they may appear especially kind and loving, at least for the time being.


When you demonstrate to the other person that you will eventually concede, they will know exactly how to handle similar situations in the future. The process of emotional blackmail teaches you over time that it is easier to comply than to face constant pressure and threats. You may come to accept that their love is conditional, that they will withhold it until you agree with them. They may even discover that a specific type of threat expedites the job. As a result, this pattern is likely to continue.

Typical examples:

While emotional blackmailers frequently employ a variety of tactics, their actions generally fall into one of four categories:

Punishers. Someone employing punishment tactics will say what they want and then threaten you with what will happen if you do not comply. This frequently involves direct threats, but punishers can also manipulate through aggression, anger, or silence. As an example, as you walk in, your partner approaches you and kisses you. “Today I made a huge sale!” Let us rejoice. “Dinner, dancing, romance,” they tease with a wink. You exclaim, “Congratulations!” “However, I’m exhausted.” I intended to take a long bath and unwind. “How about next week?” Their mood shifts in an instant. They sulk down the corridor, slamming doors in their path. They refuse to respond when you follow them and try to talk to them.

Self-punishers. Threats are also used in this type of emotional blackmail. Self-punishers, on the other hand, explain how your resistance will harm them rather than threaten you:

  • “I’m going to lose my car tomorrow if you don’t lend me money.”
  • “We’ll be homeless if you don’t let us live with you.” Consider your nephews! Who knows what will become of them? “Do you want to put up with that?”

People who use self-punishment tactics may spin the situation to make it appear as if their problems are your fault in order to make you feel more inclined to accept responsibility and assist them.

Sufferers. A sufferer will frequently express their feelings without using words. If they believe you have slighted them or want you to do something for them, they may remain silent and express their dissatisfaction with expressions such as:

  • Sadness or depression, manifested by frowns, sighs, tears, or moping.
  • Discomfort or pain.

They may also give you a detailed account of everything that has contributed to their misery. As an example:

“You mentioned to a friend last week that you were looking for a roommate for your empty bedroom and attached bath.” “Why don’t you let me stay there for free?” suggested your friend. You laughed it off, thinking it was a joke.

They sobbed when they called you today.

“I’m so depressed. “I can hardly get out of bed,” they complain. “First it was that horrible breakup, and now it’s my miserable co-workers, but I can’t quit because I have no savings.” All I want is for something good to happen. I can’t keep going like this. If I could just find somewhere to stay for a while where I wouldn’t have to pay rent, I’m sure I’d feel a lot better.”

Tantalizers. Some forms of emotional blackmail appear to be kind gestures. A tantalizer offers praise and encouragement while holding rewards over your head in order to get something from you. But every time you clear one obstacle, another appears. You are unable to keep up. One day, your boss tells you, “Your work is excellent.” “You have exactly the qualities I seek in an office manager.” They inform you quietly that the position will be available soon. “Can I rely on you until that time?” You’re overjoyed. Your boss keeps asking more of you, so you stay late, skip lunch, and even come in on weekends to keep up. The office manager resigns, but your boss makes no further mention of the promotion. They snap at you when you finally ask about it. “Can’t you see how occupied I am?” Do you believe I have enough time to hire an office manager? “I was expecting more from you,” they say.

Characteristics and patterns-

Addictions. Addicts frequently believe that having control is the key to achieving success and happiness in life. People who follow this rule do so as a survival skill, having learned it as a child. No one can back them into a corner with their feelings as long as they make the rules.

Illness of the mind. People with certain mental illnesses, such as paranoid personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder, are predisposed to controlling behaviour.

People with borderline personality disorder are more likely than destructive narcissists to use emotional blackmail.

Their actions, however, may be impulsive and motivated by fear and a desperate sense of hopelessness, rather than the result of any deliberate plan.

Codependency. Codependency frequently involves putting one’s own needs second while being overly concerned with the needs of others. Codependency can manifest itself in any type of relationship, including family, work, friendship, romantic, peer, or community relationships.

Children and Affluenza. Affluenza is a type of status insecurity caused by obsessively keeping up with the Joneses, a pattern of childhood training in which sufferers were taught to compare themselves to others “As toddlers, they were subjected to emotional blackmail. Their mothers’ love becomes conditional on them demonstrating behaviour that achieves parental objectives.”

Training in assertiveness. Assertiveness training encourages people not to engage in pointless back-and-forth or power struggles with the emotional blackmailer, but rather to repeat a neutral statement, such as “I can see how you feel that way,” or, if pressed to eat, to say “No thank you, I’m not hungry.” They are taught to keep their statements within certain parameters so that they do not succumb to coercive nagging, emotional blackmail, or bullying.

How to react to it.

If you believe you are the victim of emotional blackmail, there are a few things you can do to respond productively. Some people learn blackmail techniques (such as guilt trips) from their parents, siblings, or former partners. These behaviours become a reliable method of meeting needs. Others may use emotional blackmail on purpose. If you don’t feel comfortable confronting the person, you might want to skip these steps (more on what to do in this scenario later).

To begin, identify what isn’t emotional blackmail.

You may want to resist when a loved one’s needs or boundaries cause you frustration or discomfort. Everyone, however, has the right to express and restate boundaries as needed. When pressure, threats, and attempts to control you are used, it is only emotional blackmail. Projecting feelings and memories from the past can make a current situation appear to be blackmail.

When we respond to someone out of fear or insecurity, believing that saying no or setting boundaries will result in rejection, we are engaging in emotional blackmail. However, that could be an inaccurate prediction of what would occur.

Maintain your cool and stall.

Someone attempting to manipulate you may press you to respond immediately. When you’re upset and afraid, you may succumb before fully considering other options. This is one of the reasons why blackmail works. Instead, remain as calm as possible and inform them that you require additional time. Try something like, “I can’t decide right now.” I’ll think about it and get back to you later.” They may continue to press you to make a decision right away, but don’t give in (or rise to threats). Repeat calmly that you require time.

Begin a conversation. The time you buy yourself can aid in the development of a strategy. Your approach may be influenced by the circumstances, such as the behaviour and the demand.

First, consider your personal safety. You can engage in a conversation if you feel emotionally and physically safe doing so. Many blackmailers are well aware of what they are doing. They simply want their needs met, regardless of the cost to you. Others simply see their behaviour as a strategy for achieving their goals and are unaware of how it affects you. A conversation can help raise their awareness in this situation. Describe how their words or actions make you feel. Give them the chance to change their ways.

Determine your triggers. Someone attempting to manipulate you is likely to know exactly how to push your buttons. If you dislike arguing in public, for example, they may threaten to cause a commotion. Understanding the fears or beliefs that give the blackmailer power can provide an opportunity to reclaim that power. This makes it much more difficult for the other person to use them against you. In this same example, it could mean recognising that public debates irritate you and devising a standard response to this threat.

Involve them in the compromise. When you offer the other person the opportunity to assist you in finding an alternative solution, your refusal may appear less harsh. Begin with a statement that validates their feelings, and then invite them to collaborate on problem-solving. “I’m hearing you’re upset because I’m away with my friends this weekend.” “Could you explain why you’re so frustrated?” This demonstrates to the other person that you care about how they feel and that you are willing to work with them.

Finally, the bottom line.

Sarcasm, relationship tests, unjustified blame, implied threats, and the fear, obligation, and guilt they instil in you are all characteristics of emotional blackmail. Giving in may appear to be the best way to keep the peace, but doing so frequently leads to further manipulation.

You may be able to reason with the person in some cases, but in others, it may be best to end the relationship or seek help from a trained therapist.

Is It True That I’m a Good Employee?

Professional development is essential in any career path. You must identify and address your areas of improvement in order to continue developing your skills and improving your work performance. Knowing where you can improve is the first step toward becoming a better employee by overcoming your weaknesses.

Who is a good employee?

Employees must have both soft skills and technical skills, also known as hard skills. Soft skills include an employee’s social expertise, personality and character makeup, communication skills, emotional intelligence, influence, and work approach. These complement hard skills – abilities that have been learned and can be measured and quantified – and can make an employee more valuable to a company.

Here are some of the qualities and skills of a good employee:

Understanding both the why and the what. Above and beyond simply knowing how to do their job, good employees understand why their job exists. This enables them to generate new suggestions and ideas for improving their tasks.

Professionalism. Being professional at work entails being polite, well-spoken, calm, and presentable.

Innovative concepts. Employees who bring forward innovative ideas and suggestions that will have a positive impact are a valuable asset to a company. Growth is thwarted by stagnation and complacency.

Problem-solving skills. Employees who work on a task until it is solved or completed, and who use their best efforts to solve problems, are regarded as good employees.

Ambitious. Employees who have a clear, personal career plan or goal in mind are less likely to expect their employer to drive their career for them, so they strive for advancement.

Dependability, dependability, and accountability. Employees who accept responsibility for their actions, are dependable, arrive on time, do what they say, and do not let their teammates down are highly valued.

Dispute resolution. Good employees address and resolve conflict maturely, rather than avoiding it, by maintaining respect for those involved, not blaming, and not acquiescing simply to keep the peace.

Positive outlook. Employees who bring a positive attitude to work have a positive impact on those around them and increase team energy.

Emotional intelligence (EQ). Emotional intelligence (EQ) is about being aware of one’s own emotions as well as those of others on the team. Knowing how to manage these effectively is a critical component of being a good employee.

Teamwork. The ability to work with others in a team by cultivating professional relationships in order to achieve a common goal is a valuable asset to any company.

Eagerness to learn. Hard skills obtained through education are insufficient for good employees; they are open to new ideas and share their ideas and personal insights with the team.

Creativity. Creativity is not innate in everyone, but it is a skill that can be developed through experimentation, imagination, questions, collaboration, and information processing.

Generosity. Good employees’ coach and mentor their co-workers. They generously share their knowledge and experience. They recognise that knowledge is only useful when it is shared with others.

Every employer wants their employees to exhibit one trait, professionalism and a strong work ethic. Whatever job you get after graduation, your employer will expect you to have strong, professional social skills as well as a strong work ethic.

Employees who take the initiative and complete tasks with little supervision or encouragement are highly valued.

A Dissatisfied Employee should:

Be willing to learn. Maintain and fulfil your desire to learn more about your field. This can be accomplished by attending all group meetings. In addition, ask your senior employers questions and express your desire to collaborate with other departments.

Create connections. Stay up to date on everyone’s contributions and actively participate in discussions, whether it’s your team member, team leader, or department head. This establishes a respectable professional rapport and naturally improves your work performance.

Maintain a positive attitude. You may be asked to work extra hours on weekends or to shift your focus from your primary project to a high-priority project. Do not allow the change to disrupt your workflow. Adapt to it and absorb all of the fundamentals that will propel you to completion of the new project.

Effective areas for development:

Here are some basic areas where you can improve to become a better employee:

Be a good listener.

It is more important to be a good listener than a good speaker. When speaking with high-level employees, stay alert and take notes on key points. The importance of two-way communication is frequently underestimated by new employees. Make it a point to cross-question and clarify your doubts during the conversation.

Include feedback.

Accept feedback, but make a concerted effort to incorporate it. This method of managing feedback gives you a firm grip on the elements that your team leader wants you to include. This also demonstrates your willingness to embrace opportunities for growth.

Enhance your interpersonal skills.

Experiment with using your interpersonal skills in an enterprising and enticing manner. This sends a clear message to other employees about your ability to interact. Furthermore, you will naturally have an advantage when it comes to receiving more responsible work assigned by seniors. Most importantly, be mindful of your body language and show empathy in conversations.

Employ critical thinking.

Strive to deviate from the norm. Get ahead of your responsibilities and apply a detail-oriented approach to all of your tasks. This allows you to brainstorm on a larger scale, taking into account all of your clients, products, and partnerships. Critical thinking also allows you to gain access to different perspectives at work. In fact, the more perspectives you have, the more likely you are to come up with brilliant ideas.

Adjust to changing circumstances.

Never be surprised by the onset of company changes, team changes, or new, more difficult projects. Even if you have a strict deadline to meet, shift your mindset from stressing to adapting to reality. Remember that acceptance comes easily with adaptability, but acceptance comes with resistance without adaptability.

Work on endurance.

Be persistent in difficult situations if you want to improve your professional image at work. Your manager may occasionally overload you with multiple difficult problem statements. It is your responsibility to maintain your morale and either complete the work quickly or openly discuss your concerns.

Develop your leadership abilities.

If your co-workers are slacking and appear to be burned out, seize the opportunity and assume leadership. It’s the best time to express your thoughts, take the initiative, and devise a solution that compensates for their lack of attention. This could be an exceptional area for improvement for employees seeking an appraisal.

Delegate responsibilities.

Delegating while acting as a leader demonstrates your critical thinking and decision-making abilities. You gain a better understanding of how to distribute your resources at work. Even better, you can break down a project into sections and develop a more in-depth view of the entire project. Above all, delegation allows you to assess the effectiveness of your interns and senior team members.

Opt for optimism.

Develop a positive attitude toward your workplace difficulties. Focus on the present moment and make a statement with every task you complete at work. Choose to view challenges as opportunities to expand your skill set.

Resolve disagreements.

You and your clients, managers, or colleagues may have disagreements. Never let a conflict linger. Make an effort to resolve the problem. Otherwise, you risk disrupting smooth operations and creating a negative atmosphere that will harm the business or project. Whether you resolve a conflict in person, via email or phone, or in a group e-meeting, make sure the conversation ends on mutually satisfactory terms.

Emphasize customer service.

Customers are essential to the success of any business. Making a connection with them allows you to gain deeper insights into your target audience. Also, when customers are pleased, they are more open, making it easier to identify their sensitive points. All of this information is essential when discussing marketing strategies and sales tactics with your team.

Develop a sense of teamwork.

Individual work has been shown to be less productive than teamwork. Involve your team in brainstorming even the smallest setbacks, and you could see tremendous results. For example, suppose one employee believes that increasing the marketing budget for ads is preferable to upgrading the website. In that case, the team must conduct an analytical discussion and make the necessary compromises in order to achieve their ultimate goal.

Manage stress.

In today’s fast-paced office environments, stress is unavoidable. However, this does not make it completely unavoidable. Simply use personalised stress management techniques at work. If you feel relieved, feel free to request a project shift or a mental health discussion with the members of your organisation.

Establish personal KPIs.

Key performance indicators (KPIs) accurately assist you in determining where you stand in terms of your career progression. Choose a KPI based on your goals for the near future. It could be a financial boost, an influential network, more involvement at work, or even a promotion.

Maintain your self-assurance.

When you lack confidence, your performance metrics may suffer. Avoid making intimidating responsibilities or conversations an impediment. When you have a naturally acquired confident personality, you have a natural catalyst within you that drives you to constantly improve your professional etiquettes.

Control your time.

Productivity can only be obtained through responsibility and wise time management. Begin by making checklists, using a planner, making to-do lists, using a calendar, and selecting time management software that can be accessed while on the go. This area of development for an employee deconstructs the specifics of how you approach your goals and priorities.

Improve your writing skills.

The way you write emails, briefs, proposals, notes, and presentations reveals a lot about your professional standing. Improving your writing skills at work isn’t as difficult as you think. The important thing is to keep writing and practising. Choose to write important, descriptive emails, re-write existing presentations, and request that you be designated as the point of contact between clients and team members.

Be truthful.

Accept your mistakes and face the truth. This clears your conscience while also putting you in a position to work with a solution-oriented mindset. Develop a reputation for integrity and keep your promises. If you can’t keep up, notify your team instead of abandoning the task.

Encourage initiative.

Avoid waiting for a senior to remind you of an obvious responsibility. Display your preparedness and relieve upper management of your responsibilities. Ideally, point out errors before they occur and anticipate what they require ahead of time. Such initiative makes a good impression on your superiors and increases your chances of receiving an appraisal or promotion.

Study business etiquette.

There is a significant difference between generic professional etiquettes and company etiquettes. The etiquettes of your organisation must be tailored to their values, clientele, and industry. Begin resonating with their values with the intention of improving how you present yourself as an employee of the company you work for.

Employees who fail to meet their employer’s expectations in any given field risk being fired. If management has provided adequate training to improve your performance and you are still unable to meet the job requirements and perform to expectations, the employer has the right to fire you. Employees are initially enthusiastic about their new jobs, but their enthusiasm fades over time. As a result, the company will lack the drive and positive motivation that it requires. In any ongoing employee dismissal process, a lack of enthusiasm can add fuel to the fire.

If you are frequently late or take sick leave, you will almost certainly face employee replacement. Your absence could cause work to be disrupted, both your own and that of others on your team. In conclusion, you will not be referred to as a team member and will be fired immediately. If you use up all of your vacation days and develop a habit of taking unpaid holidays, it indicates that you are not a hard worker and are unable to add value to the company. Your unplanned absences will be reported to the HR department.

Distractions and interruptions can disrupt your flow and have a negative impact on your work performance. Learn how to avoid similar situations and how to improve your work performance.

Work performance is a broad term that describes your ability to perform well on the job. People who perform well are typically more likely to receive pay raises and job promotions.

Managers can assess employee performance using a variety of metrics. The most common are:

  • Speed.
  • Quality.
  • Efficiency.

Consider hiring a professional coach if you don’t know where to begin. You can work together to develop a skill development plan to help you reach your career goals.

Task completion isn’t everything. Workers in today’s complex work environment should expect to use a variety of soft skills on a daily basis. While they have nothing to do with output, they do reflect on you as an employee.

The strategies for improving your workflow may be simpler than you think. Here are some suggestions for improving work performance. Examine these strategies and determine which ones are most applicable to you and your job.

Reduce distractions. This is a tip that many people know but rarely use. Reduce the number of potential distractions. Of course, eliminating distractions is impossible all of the time. Try scheduling focus blocks in your calendar instead. Silence your phone, turn off email alerts, close your office door (if you have one), and concentrate on the task at hand during this time. You’ll be surprised at how much you can get done.

Set goals and objectives. Large tasks frequently lead to procrastination. However, breaking projects down into steps on a simple to-do list often makes them feel more manageable. Plus, once you start crossing things off your list, it’s simple to gain momentum.

Set specific, attainable goals. When it comes to your goals, be realistic. We all want to be super-producers, but we need to be aware of our energy levels and how much we can accomplish in a single workday. Splitting large goals into smaller, more specific goals will help you stay on track. Setting attainable goals allows you to be kind to yourself while doing your best. Nobody wants you to exhaust yourself.

Multitasking should be avoided. While multitasking may appear to be efficient, switching between tasks actually reduces your efficiency. That is, if you’re writing a report between emails, you’re probably not getting as much done as you think. Instead of juggling tasks, choose one and stick with it.

Improve your time management skills. It’s time to hone your time management abilities. Make a schedule for your time. If you know a task is due in a few weeks, work backward from that date and schedule your time accordingly. One hour of focused work per week is more efficient than three hours of last-minute work. Procrastination is linked to high stress, an increased risk of depression, anxiety, and fatigue. It even reduces life and work satisfaction.

Prioritize the most important tasks. Prioritizing urgent tasks is a good way to keep your to-do list organised. If you’re called away from your desk, the only items left are those that can wait. Schedule some time at the start of each day to work on what’s most important to ensure it gets your full attention. Use techniques such as the Pomodoro Technique to increase the quantity and quality of your work throughout the day.

When possible, delegate tasks. It’s normal to have a long to-do list as a manager. Look for chances to delegate some work tasks. Divide projects into manageable chunks and provide clear instructions to team members. They can assist you in completing all of your tasks. Knowing when you’re doing too much is part of having strong management skills.

Make your workspace presentable. A cluttered desk can be a source of distraction. Keep only what you need for the task at hand and get rid of the rest. Close all the tabs in your web browser while you’re at it. Cleaning up your computer can also improve your mental clarity.

Maintain your health. Exercise and a healthy diet are both known to keep your brain happy. Each morning, get your workday off to a good start. A healthy breakfast and a walk outside can improve your concentration, energy, and motivation.

Clear communication is essential. When working on a large project, everyone involved must understand what they are responsible for and when. Effective communication leads to excellent teamwork, which boosts your overall performance. Notifying people when you’re nearing capacity is also part of communication.

Take frequent short breaks. Your body isn’t designed to work for eight hours straight. If your focus wanders while working, it could be your body telling you to take a break. Take a break instead of working through it. Make time each day to go for a short walk, stretch, or grab a drink at a nearby cafe. You’ll feel refreshed and ready to focus again after a 15-minute break.

Make self-improvement a priority. We should evolve in tandem with the rest of the world. Learn new skills, read books, watch videos, and listen to podcasts to broaden your horizons. You might come across some useful information that you can bring to work with you.

Keep a work-life balance. Everyone has a personal life. It’s critical to unplug at the end of the day. You can be at your best while working if you take care of yourself.

To stay productive, avoid doing the following:

Limit these two common distractions to stay focused:

  1. It’s fun to hear the latest news in the office, but too much idle chat can take away from your work time. Keep track of how much time you spend conversing with your co-workers.
  2. Smartphones: These ground-breaking devices have done wonders for keeping us connected, but they’re also designed to keep your attention. During work hours, turn off notifications and keep it in another room. This will keep your phone from luring you away from your work and into social media apps.

Level up: When your work performance improves, those around you will notice. Increasing your productivity puts you in line for raises and promotions. Furthermore, working productively will make you feel better. However, getting started can be difficult. Find someone who can help you stay on track to hold yourself accountable. A work buddy or a career coach can assist you in increasing your productivity.

Parenting with Narcissism (Narcissistic Parent)

Good parenting necessitates empathy, compassion, and the willingness to delegate some of your needs — in other words, many of the characteristics that a narcissist lacks.

Triangulating or playing favorites is how narcissistic parents keep their power. They may have a golden child whom they lavishly compliment while disparaging another child in the family. This can make children feel uneasy, betrayed, and psychologically unsafe.

However, the effects of narcissism in family relationships have been observed to be on the rise, with many narcissistic traits, such as grandiosity, superiority, and entitlement, on the rise.

Narcissistic parenting does not entail boasting on social media or putting your children through rigorous extracurricular activities. It goes much deeper, and it is one of the most toxic ways to raise children. Narcissistic parents struggle to allow their children to develop as individuals or to meet their own needs.

Narcissistic parents frequently abuse their children emotionally, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those suffering from narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive, with little self-awareness or empathy for others, including their children.

A pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behaviour, a lack of empathy and consideration for others, and an excessive need for admiration characterizes narcissistic personality disorder. Others frequently describe NPD sufferers as arrogant, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.

A narcissistic mother cannot unconditionally love her child. She cannot be selfless, devoted, warm, mature, or attentive to you. Instead, everything revolves around her. Her unrealistic, immature needs dominate her life.

You may be aware of a narcissistic parent but are unaware of it. Here are some common warning signs:

  1. They look to their child for validation.

When their children score the winning goal or get the lead role in the school play, narcissists frequently brag about them. You might notice them constantly bragging about their child’s beauty or talent online or in conversation.

The parent is checked out, detached, and disinterested in their child unless something involves their child’s achievements. They typically shame their child’s need for connection or validation, instead viewing them as a tool to meet those needs for themselves.

  • They are emotionally reactive, but they are ashamed of their child’s emotions.

When they are disappointed or frustrated, narcissists frequently become angry and aggressive. They may lash out if they believe their child is being critical or defiant. These reactions can take the form of screaming, outbursts of rage, or, in more severe cases, physical violence.

Meanwhile, other people’s emotions can make narcissistic people uncomfortable, and they may dislike them. They may shame their child into not sharing their emotions by saying things like, “Get over it, it wasn’t that big of a deal,” or “Stop crying and toughen up.”

  • They always prioritize their own needs.

Adults must sometimes prioritize real-world issues, such as working a late shift or doing chores for an entire afternoon. However, narcissistic parents expect their children to make sacrifices in order for them to do or have whatever they desire.

For example, if a parent enjoys shopping, their children must do so every weekend.

Or, if the parent has a regular get-together with friends, the parent will never miss it, even for something as important as a graduation ceremony.

  • They have ineffective boundaries.

Parents who are narcissistic can be quite intrusive. They will not interact with the child if they do not feel like it. When they want their child to validate them, they may believe they can interrupt and ask them to do whatever they want.

They may also ask probing questions or be critical of their child in an intrusive manner, such as commenting on weight, appearance, or other characteristics that make the child feel self-conscious.

  • They have favorites.

Triangulating or playing favorites is how narcissistic parents keep their power. They may have a golden child whom they lavishly compliment while disparaging another child in the family.

This can make children feel uneasy, betrayed, and psychologically unsafe. They may believe that in order to avoid the narcissistic parent’s wrath and maintain good standing in the family unit, they must agree with or impress them.

  • They shift responsibility to their children.

Because narcissists need to feel perfect, they avoid taking responsibility for their own mistakes and instead blame their children. When they are criticized, they can be cruel, and their comments often sting.

“It’s your fault I’m so tired,” or “I could have had a great career if I didn’t have to deal with you,” are common refrains from narcissistic parents.

Children of narcissistic parents internalize these comments over time and begin to blame themselves, believing that “when I have needs, I make everyone else feel or perform worse.”

  • They anticipate that the child will be the caregiver.

A narcissistic parent’s message to their child at a young age is that they must take care of them. This frequently continues into adulthood, where the narcissistic parent can be extremely manipulative. “I fed and clothed you, so now you owe me,” for example. Many narcissists expect their children to care for them later in life.

A narcissistic parent will frequently abuse the traditional parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in their child’s life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. The child is disempowered as a result of the parent’s possessiveness and excessive control; the child is simply an extension of the parent.

A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is superior to others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, be hypersensitive to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and, most importantly, be oblivious to the harm she is causing.

Let’s look at the five types of narcissism:

 Overt Narcissism (Open Narcissism).

Overt narcissism is also known by the term’s grandiose narcissism and agentic narcissism. Most people associate a narcissistic personality with this type of narcissism.

Someone with overt narcissism may appear to be:

  • Outgoing.
  • Arrogant.
  • Entitled.
  • Overbearing.
  • Exaggerating one’s self-image.
  • Requiring praise and admiration.
  • Exploitative.
  • Competitive.
  • Empathy is lacking.

Overt narcissists are more likely to feel good about themselves and are less likely to experience unpleasant emotions such as sadness, worry, or loneliness. Overt narcissists may also overestimate their own abilities and intelligence.

Covert Narcissism (Narcissism in the shadows).

Covert narcissism, also known as vulnerable narcissism and closet narcissism, is the polar opposite of overt narcissism. While many people associate narcissism with being loud and domineering, people with covert narcissism do not fit this mould.

Instead, some common characteristics of someone with covert narcissism are:

  • Low self-esteem expressions.
  • Anxiety, depression, and shame are more likely to occur.
  • Introversion.
  • Insecurity or a lack of confidence.
  • Defensiveness.
  • Avoidance.
  • A proclivity to feel or play the victim.

While someone with covert narcissism is still very self-centered, this is likely to clash with a deep fear or sense of not being enough. Someone with covert narcissism is likely to find it difficult to accept criticism. However, unlike someone with overt narcissism, someone with covert narcissism may internalize or interpret criticism more harshly than intended.

Covert and overt narcissism are not always mutually exclusive categories. In other words, someone with overt narcissism may experience a period in which they exhibit more signs of covert narcissism.

Antagonistic Narcissism (Narcissism that is antagonistic).

Overt narcissism is a subtype of antagonistic narcissism. The emphasis in this aspect of narcissism is on rivalry and competition. The following are some characteristics of antagonistic narcissism:

  • Arrogance.
  • A proclivity to take advantage of others.
  • The proclivity to compete with others.
  • Disagreeability or a proclivity to argue.

Those who suffer from antagonistic narcissism are less likely to forgive others than those who suffer from other types of narcissism. People with antagonistic narcissism may have less trust in others.

Communal Narcissism (Narcissism in the community).

Communal narcissism is a type of overt narcissism that is often seen as the polar opposite of antagonistic narcissism. Someone suffering from communal narcissism values fairness and may consider themselves to be altruistic, but there is a disconnect between these beliefs and the person’s behaviour. People who suffer from communal narcissism may:

  • Become easily offended morally.
  • They describe themselves as compassionate and generous.
  • React strongly to things they perceive to be unfair.

The key difference is that people with communal narcissism place a high value on social power and self-importance. For example, while communal narcissism may cause you to claim (and believe) that you have a strong moral code or care for others, you may be unaware that the way you treat others contradicts your beliefs.

Malignant Narcissism (Narcissism that is cancerous).

There are different levels of severity for narcissism, with malignant narcissism being the most severe. It can also aggravate the person who is living with it. Malignant narcissism is more closely associated with overt narcissism than with covert narcissism. Many common narcissistic traits, such as a strong need for praise and to be elevated above others, may be present in someone with malignant narcissism. However, malignant narcissism can also manifest as:

  • Vindictiveness.
  • Sadism, or taking pleasure in the suffering of others.
  • When interacting with others, aggression is displayed.
  • Paranoia, or excessive concern about potential threats.

Malignant narcissism may share some characteristics with antisocial personality disorder. This means that someone with malignant narcissism is more likely to get into legal trouble or develop a substance use disorder. Those suffering from malignant narcissism have a more difficult time reducing anxiety and improving their ability to function in daily life. When it comes to treatment, narcissism can be difficult because many people who suffer from it do not feel the need to change.

Change your narcissistic parenting tendencies.

Don’t be concerned if you recognize yourself in any of the traits listed above. We are all involved in our own lives to some extent. There are, however, several strategies you can employ to alter your mindset and habits. First and foremost, do not deceive your child. Don’t say, “That’s not the case,” if they say, “You’re always angry at me.” This will only add to their confusion. Instead, express empathy to the child: “I am so sorry. Do you want to discuss it? “How are you doing?”

Another strategy is to avoid being forced to forgive. Forced forgiveness benefits the parent by covering up their bad behaviour, but it only fosters self-blame and confusion in the child. Allow the child to have their own experience.

Finally, think about going to therapy; it’s one of the best places to examine your parenting attitudes and tendencies.

Bulldozer/Snowplow Parenting (Lawnmower Parenting)

Lawnmower parents are the latest generation of overbearing parents who are overly involved in their children’s lives. They continue to micromanage, interfere, and arrange. Their objective is to shield them from failure, disappointment, discomfort, and adversity. They may also harm their social and personal development.

Lawnmower parents, like the more well-known Helicopter Parents, are overly involved in their child’s life to protect them from disappointment or discomfort. While they may believe they are helping their child, lawnmower parents can have a negative impact on their child’s problem-solving skills, leaving them insecure and unable to deal with failure.

Let’s get to know Lawnmower Parents better now.

A lawnmower parent, named after the machine used to cut grass, will “mow down” any obstacles their child may encounter. Lawnmower parents rush forward to save the child from any inconvenience, problem, or discomfort.

This may appear to be similar to helicopter parenting. Helicopter parenting entails hovering or closely monitoring a child’s every move, whereas lawnmower parenting entails more intervention.

A lawnmower parent may:

  • Complete their child’s homework or projects.
  • Email teachers to debate grades.
  • Remove their child from potentially hazardous situations.
  • Others are to blame for their child’s mistakes.
  • Intervene in disputes between friends, teachers, coaches, and others.
  • Make unreasonable requests for their child’s accommodations.
  • Inquire with professors about grades or extensions.
  • Inquire with potential employers about interviews.

Lawnmower offspring are more likely to:

  • Inadequate communication skills.
  • Personal motivation and drive are lacking.
  • Inability to make decisions.
  • Lack of self-assurance.
  • Have heightened anxiety.

Because they do not want to see their child suffer or struggle, lawnmower parents may attempt to manage their child’s life. However, by removing obstacles and setbacks for their children, they may be negatively impacting their child’s development of life skills. Children of lawnmower parents may be self-conscious about their abilities or struggle to accept failure. When confronted with problems, they may panic or shut down. In the long run, a child raised by lawnmower parents may begin to interpret difficulties as personal failures, blaming themselves for setbacks. This can result in increased anxiety, a low tolerance for pain, and feelings of helplessness.

It instils in your child the belief that they are incapable of dealing with difficult situations. Unless you are there every step of the way, they will expect to fail rather than succeed.

The parents are doing everything possible to pave the way for their children. These parents don’t want their children to ever hit a wall, trip and fall, or get lost, so they’re constantly putting themselves out ahead, doing everything they can to ensure their children have the easiest journey possible.

These children are taught that they are not capable of doing things on their own. In some ways, the lawnmower parent implies to the child that they are unable to do it on their own.

Furthermore, children who are always served life on a silver platter with no indication of struggle are more likely to struggle when confronted with life’s ups, downs, twists, and turns. They are also less likely to recognise how fortunate they are.

Lawnmower parenting can have an impact on parents as well. When parents spend their time interfering, arranging, and negotiating on their child’s behalf, they may become overwhelmed and stressed. They may spend so much time on their child in an attempt to make their child’s life easier that they have little free time left. This can have physical and mental consequences for the parent, including depression, anxiety, tension headaches, ulcers, and high blood pressure.

The consequences for children can be severe. Children who are rarely or never faced with significant challenges, feel the sting of failure, or navigate a difficult journey are more likely to become less resilient, less confident, and more anxious. The only way to truly know if you can bounce back, stand strong, or muddle through is to have to do so in small and large ways over and over throughout your life. And if their parents are always one — or five — steps ahead of them, clearing the way, they’ll never get a chance to get up, dust themselves off, and get back in the game.

Our children must learn to deal with disappointment. They must learn that they will not always get what they want. They must understand that we will not always be present to fight their personal, academic, or professional battles.

Getting Over Lawnmower Parenting.

If you suspect you are a lawnmower parent, changing your parenting style can help you and your child become more independent.

Here are a few alternatives to lawnmower parenting.

Be truthful with your children.

While it is important to support your child, it is also critical to recognise when your child is in the wrong. Encourage your child on a regular basis and let them know that you believe in them to make good decisions now and in the future. Allow them to make mistakes, even big ones, and learn as a group from them. Sharing your knowledge and guiding your children is important, but you also want to be supportive. Just don’t step in and try to do everything for them.

Don’t try to solve problems.

When problems arise with your children, avoid getting involved right away. Whether it’s a major conflict at school or a minor disagreement with friends, it’s critical to give children the opportunity to work things out on their own before interfering. Allow your child to speak for himself. Whether it’s ordering a meal at a favorite restaurant, asking a store associate where something is, or speaking with a teacher to make up a missed assignment. Allow your child to express themselves verbally. Only after your child attempts communication on their own should you, if necessary, intervene. For example, if your child misplaces a friend’s school book, have him/her consult with the friend and the librarian before making a decision and dealing with the potential consequences.

Provide problem-solving strategies.

Moving away from lawnmower parenting does not preclude you from paying child support. When your child faces a challenge, seize the opportunity to impart wisdom and counsel. Ask them what they believe they can do to solve the problem and make suggestions. This allows them to rely on you as a parent while also teaching them to take responsibility for their actions and solve their own problems. Allowing your child to fall is an important part of their development. As difficult as it is to witness, it is when our child falls that they learn the most. This is when the wheels in their heads start turning, trying to figure out how to get back up or right their wrong.

Concentrate on your independence.

It is difficult to change parenting styles overnight, especially if you are used to being involved in your child’s daily life. Remind yourself that your ultimate goal is independence. Your child should be able to care for themselves rather than relying on you all the time. We want our children to be self-sufficient and not always rely on their parents. Our job as parents is to raise compassionate, hardworking, capable adults and then set them free.

However, there are times when getting involved in your child’s problems is both appropriate and beneficial.

If your child is being bullied, you may need to intervene. This could include speaking with school officials, requesting safety precautions, or removing your child from the situation if necessary.

Helping your child when things go wrong, such as bringing them their forgotten homework or giving them a ride when they miss the bus, isn’t always a bad thing. Every child will make mistakes, and it is critical to show your child that they can come to you for help. It only becomes a problem if you are constantly rescuing your child from their errors.

The more you remind yourself of this, the better you’ll be at ensuring they can survive on their own in this big, loud, crazy world.

Helicopter Parenting (Cosseting Parent)

Helicopter parenting is a parenting style in which parents are overly focused on their children. They frequently take far too much responsibility for their children’s experiences, particularly their successes and failures. Over-parenting is simply helicopter parenting. It entails being involved in a child’s life in an excessively controlling, overprotective, and perfecting manner, in excess of responsible parenting.

Helicopter parenting is most commonly applied to parents who assist high school or college-aged students with tasks that they are capable of doing on their own (for instance, calling a professor about poor grades, arranging a class schedule, or managing exercise habits). However, helicopter parenting can occur at any age.

In toddlerhood, a helicopter parent may constantly hover over the child, playing with and directing his behaviour, leaving him with no alone time.

In elementary school, helicopter parents may work to ensure that their child has a specific teacher or coach, choose their child’s friends and activities, or provide excessive help with homework and school projects.

Helicopter parenting can occur for a variety of reasons, but there are some common triggers.

Fear of negative consequences. Parents may be concerned about their child’s rejection from a sports team or a failed job interview, especially if they believe they could have done more to assist. Many of the consequences (parents) are attempting to prevent unhappiness, struggle, not excelling, hard work, and no guaranteed results—are excellent teachers for children and are not life-threatening. That’s just how it feels.

Anxiety symptoms. Concerns about the economy, the job market, and the world in general can motivate parents to exert more control over their children’s lives in order to protect them. Worry can motivate parents to assert control in the hope that they will never hurt or disappoint their child.

Overcompensation. Adults who experienced unloved, neglect, or rejection as children may overcompensate with their children. Excessive attention and monitoring are sometimes used to compensate for the parents’ shortcomings in their upbringing.

Other parents’ peer pressure. When parents observe other overly involved parents, they may experience a similar reaction. When we see other parents over-parenting or being helicopter parents, it can put pressure on us to do the same. We can easily believe that if we do not actively participate in our children’s lives, we are bad parents. Guilt plays a significant role in this dynamic.

The Downsides of Helicopter Parenting.

Many helicopter parents begin with the best of intentions. It’s a fine line to walk between being engaged with our children and their lives and losing sight of what they require.

A child can benefit from engaged parenting in many ways, including feelings of love and acceptance, increased self-confidence, and opportunities to grow. However, once parenting becomes governed by fear and decisions based on what might happen, it’s difficult to remember everything kids learn when we are not guiding each step. Failure and challenges teach children new skills and, most importantly, teach them that they are capable of dealing with failure and challenges.

The consequences of helicopter parenting are numerous, but they may include the following:

Reduced self-esteem and confidence.

The primary disadvantage of helicopter parenting is that it backfires. The underlying message that (the parent’s) over-involvement sends to children is that “my parent does not trust me to do this on my own.” This message, in turn, creates a sense of insecurity.

Undeveloped coping abilities.

How does a child learn to cope with disappointment, loss, or failure if the parent is always there to clean up their child’s mess or prevent the problem from occurring in the first place? As a result, helicopter parenting can result in unhealthy behaviors.

Overly controlling parents can impair their child’s ability to regulate emotions and behaviour. Children who had helicopter parenting had an inflated sense of self and were impulsive.

Anxiety has increased.

Overparenting is linked to higher levels of anxiety and depression in children. Helicopter parenting is also associated with lower emotional, decision-making, and academic functioning.

Feeling of entitlement.

Children who have always had their social, academic, and athletic lives adjusted by their parents may develop a sense of entitlement as a result of this.

Inadequate life skills.

Parents who always tie their children’s shoes, clear their plates, pack their lunches, launder their clothes, and monitor their children’s school progress, even after they are mentally and physically capable of doing so, prevent their children from mastering these skills.

We have a difficult job as parents. We must keep one eye on our children—their stressors, strengths, and emotions—while also keeping one eye on the adults we are attempting to raise. Getting them from here to there involves some pain, both for our children and for us.

In practice, this means allowing children to struggle, being disappointed, and assisting them in working through failure. It also entails allowing your children to complete tasks that they are physically and mentally capable of.

Remembering to look for opportunities to step back from solving our child’s problems will help us raise resilient, self-assured children.

Our parents are always with us, no matter how far we have come.

Authoritative Parenting (Democratic Parenting)

A child-rearing approach characterized by high responsiveness and high expectations is known as an authoritative parenting style. Authoritarian parents are warm and responsive to their child’s emotional needs while maintaining high expectations for the child. They set boundaries and are very consistent in enforcing them.

The best parenting style is authoritative parenting. In general, this parenting style produces the best results in children. This approach is common in educated, middle-class families and has been linked to better child outcomes around the world.

Children of powerful parents:

  • Content and happy.
  • Are self-sufficient and independent.
  • Possess strong emotional regulation and self-control.
  • Possess competent social skills.
  • Exhibit upbeat attitudes and high levels of warmth.
  • Improve your academic performance.
  • Improve your self-esteem.
  • Improve your mental health by reducing your depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, delinquency, alcohol and drug use.

Parents with authority:

  • Are warm, sensitive, and nurturing.
  • Pay attention to the children.
  • Allow for autonomy while encouraging independence.
  • Instead of demanding blind obedience, reason with children.
  • Establish clear ground rules for appropriate behaviour.
  • Maintain consistent boundaries.
  • Instead of punitive, forceful measures to discipline, use positive discipline or reasoning.
  • Children should be respected, not demanded.

Is Authoritarian Parenting Appropriate For Every Child?

It has been discovered that authoritative parenting styles benefit children of various temperaments. In fact, children with difficult temperaments benefit more from authoritative child-rearing than children with easy temperaments.

However, because every child is unique, different parenting styles are required.

Styles of authority: authoritative vs. authoritarian.

These traits contrast with the authoritarian parenting style, which is characterized by extremely high expectations with little warmth and guidance.

Consider the following scenario: two young boys steal candy from the grocery store. The differences between these parenting styles are characterized by how each boy’s parents deal with the situation.

Authoritative Parents.

When the boy with authoritative parents returns home, he is given a fair punishment that is appropriate for the nature of the transgression. Here’s an example of authoritative parenting in this situation:

  • He is barred from leaving the house for two weeks and is required to return the candy and apologise to the store owner.
  • His parents explain to him why stealing is wrong.
  • His parents are supportive and encourage him not to repeat the behaviour.

Authoritarian Parent.

Because the other boy has authoritarian parents, his outcomes are quite different. In this situation, here’s an example of authoritarian parenting:

  • When he gets home, both parents yell at him.
  • He is spanked by his father.
  • His father orders him to stay in his room for the rest of the night without eating.

The child of authoritarian parents was disciplined, but with encouragement and support to encourage desired future behaviour. The child raised by authoritarian parents, on the other hand, received no support or love, as well as no feedback or guidance on why the theft was wrong.

Children are unique.

Different children require different parenting styles based on their “Goodness of Fit.” The child will thrive when there is a good fit between the child’s temperament and the parents’ personalities, attitudes, and parenting practices.

However, when there is a lack of fit, the child suffers. There is a distinction between parenting style and parenting practice.

The emotional climate in which parents raise their children is referred to as parenting style.

A parenting practice is a specific action that parents use to parent.

The authoritative parenting style is the most effective. Parents should use the same authoritative parenting style, but with different parenting practices based on their child’s temperament. Authoritarian parenting is not a set of rigid parenting techniques.

Authoritarian parenting encompasses a wide range of parenting techniques, all based on the same “high responsiveness, high demandingness” principle.

An example of an authoritarian parenting style is being warm, accepting, and supportive.

Hugging, cheering, and smiling are all examples of parenting practices.

Another example of an authoritarian parenting style: high standards and limits.

Different parenting practices include requiring a child to do chores, get good grades, and show manners.

What Makes Authoritarian Parenting Style the Best.

Authoritarian parents are aware of, nurture, sensitive to, and supportive of their children’s emotional and developmental needs. Children who have responsive parents are more likely to form a secure attachment. Children who have a secure attachment are less likely to develop internalizing problems. Infants raised by responsive mothers have better problem-solving abilities, cognitive competence, and emotional control.

Emotional regulation is the foundation for a child’s success. Parental responsiveness and autonomy support appear to give children the opportunity to develop good self-regulation skills.

Parents who are authoritative are supportive. They are more likely to be involved in a child’s education by volunteering or monitoring homework. Adolescent academic achievement has been shown to benefit from parental involvement.

Authoritarian parents are also open-minded and collaborative. They foster individuality through open communication, explanations, and reasoning. These parents are demonstrating prosocial behaviour that their children can emulate. These children develop strong social skills as they grow.

The high expectations of authoritative parents keep children in check.

Authoritarian parents are remarkably consistent when it comes to enforcing limits. One of the most important aspects of a successful home discipline is consistency. Children who have consistent parental discipline have fewer internalizing and externalizing problems.

Although authoritative parents have high standards, they do not use punitive punishment to discipline their children. Non-punitive discipline has been shown to increase children’s honesty and reduce aggressive behaviour. Inductive discipline is used by authoritative parents to teach proper behaviour. When it comes to discipline, they are firm but gentle. They are strict, but they are not cruel.

Authoritarian parenting strikes a balance between excessive psychological control (authoritarian) and insufficient behavioral control (permissive). To achieve the best positive outcomes, it is in the middle of two extreme styles.

Why It Is Effective.

Authoritarian parents serve as role models by modelling the behaviors they expect from their children. As a result, their children are more likely to internalize and exhibit these behaviors. Consistent rules and discipline also provide children with a sense of security.

These parents have strong emotional understanding and control. Their children learn to control their emotions and to understand others.

Authoritarian parents also allow their children to act on their own. This independence teaches children that they are capable of accomplishing things on their own, which aids in the development of strong self-esteem and self-confidence.

Some parents are more authoritative by nature than authoritarian or permissive. This does not preclude you from adopting a more authoritative style, even if it is not your natural default.

Trying to moderate your parenting style may require you to be aware of your actions as you work to develop the habits of an authoritative parenting style.

If you want to become a more authoritative parent, there are some things you can do to help. This parenting style can be viewed as a balance of discipline, emotional control, and allowing independence.

Try not to be too harsh or too lenient; you can begin by allowing your child to make more decisions while also having regular discussions about those decisions.

This parenting method will become more natural with time, attention, and flexibility to your child’s needs.

What effect does authoritative parenting have on a child?

As they provide clear, firm, and consistent guidelines, parents in this category tend to develop close, nurturing relationships with their children. Children in this category are responsible, capable of controlling their aggression, have high self-esteem, and are extremely self-assured.

To implement an authoritative parenting style, parents should do the following:

  • Demonstrate to their children that they care.
  • Recognize and reward positive behaviour and accomplishments.
  • Set clear and reasonable expectations.
  • Pay attention to their children.
  • Maintain consistency.
  • Discipline is achieved through the use of options and consequences.
  • Take into account their children’s opinions.
  • Show affection and express your feelings by saying, “I love you.”
  • Give children the opportunity to make choices.

Parenting is one of the most difficult tasks that most adults will face in their lives. It can also be one of life’s most rewarding experiences. All parents want their children to grow up to be happy and well-adjusted adults. To achieve the best results, parents should incorporate acceptance, firmness, and autonomy encouragement into their parenting practices.

Parenting with Authority (Disciplinarian Parenting)

Do you constantly pressure your child to behave in a certain way? Forcing them to participate in sports or extracurricular activities? Do you realise that this parenting style can be more harmful than beneficial? One of the negative parenting practises is authoritarian parenting, also known as disciplinarian parenting. It not only stunts a child’s development, but it also has serious psychological consequences in adulthood.

This is a parenting style in which the parents enforce strict rules and high discipline, as the name implies.

They also exercise a great deal of control over their children and do not allow them to express themselves.

Authoritarian parents do not give their children many liberties. Instead, punishments and rewards are used as the primary form of discipline. Physical punishment and emotional coldness are both common characteristics. They are also very controlling, making decisions for their children rather than asking them what they want or think. Despite the fact that there are far better ways to raise children to be responsible adults, they only use control. They are frequently associated with low parental warmth, high parental hostility, and poor emotional responsiveness to their children. It also includes strict control over the child’s activities, intense cognitive stimulation at home, and harsh punishments and disciplinary strategies. These uninvolved parents may substitute tuition or classes for playtime in order to push their child to be an achiever.

This strict parenting style is intended to produce obedient adults who are always respectful of authority figures. This, unfortunately, is not the case.

Yelling is extremely common. Authoritarian parents punish their children for their mistakes while ignoring their accomplishments. They anticipate that the child will not make mistakes and will obey them. Their children, on the other hand, are usually good at following rules.

When a parent expects their child to follow instructions and obey orders because “they said so,” this is an example of authoritative parenting. The parents will never solicit the child’s opinion or consider the child’s choices.

Parental Authority.

One of the most important aspects of parenting is exposing your children to the values and expectations of your culture. However, if you are an authoritarian parent, you may have expectations of your child that are diametrically opposed to what your child desires.

The Impact of Authoritarian Parenting on Children.

A variety of child outcomes, including social skills and academic performance, have been linked to parenting styles. Authoritarian parenting has more negative than positive consequences. The following are the negative consequences:

  • Self-esteem is low. While rewarding good behaviour helps to reinforce discipline, criticising the child causes them to doubt their own worth and potential. Failure to recognise a child’s accomplishments may also contribute to low self-esteem.
  • Difficulty in social situations as a result of a lack of social skills. It is critical for children to develop social skills while they are young. If your child does not have time to socialise, they may find it difficult to relate to others even as adults.
  • Outside of the home, children may exhibit aggressive behaviour. Harshness, physical punishment, and exerting too much control over children result in negative behaviour. Punishment is ineffective when compared to discipline. Violence always leads to more violence.
  • They are unable to accept failure. Children are under pressure to perform when it is made clear that they must always get it right. If your child’s behaviour is motivated by a desire to avoid punishment at all costs, you may need to alter your parenting style. This makes them fear failure rather than viewing it as an opportunity to learn and improve.
  • Your child easily conforms but also suffers from anxiety. When a child does not do what you want them to do, they frequently become angry, frustrated, and loud. In children, this type of behaviour causes anxiety.

Children raised by authoritarian parents are more likely to have poor decision-making skills and low self-esteem, poor social skills and academic competence, low creativity, and mental health issues such as depression and behavioural issues, fear of failure, emotional suppression, and difficulty dealing with negative situations.

Although authoritarian parenting has been linked to negative outcomes, there are some potential benefits. They are as follows:

Children develop the desire to do things correctly. Children will always want to do good because of constant nagging and reinforcement from their parents. It could be due to a fear of punishment or being conditioned to act in a certain way.

Parents raise children who are more responsible. Children rarely consider doing wrong because they are accustomed to following rules. The habit becomes so strong that it lasts into adulthood.

Children may grow up to be more goal-oriented. Authoritarian parents set strict rules and expect their children to follow them. As a result, their children are more likely to be focused on everything they do, resulting in them giving their all.

Regardless of any perceived benefits of authoritarian parenting, being accommodating with your children is far preferable. Admitting that you don’t know everything there is to know about parenting is the first step toward change. Getting as much information as possible about how to raise a child correctly will help you become a better parent.

Here are a few pointers to help you with your parenting style:

You’re fed up with misbehaviour. You may not expect your children to engage in undesirable behaviour if you are an authoritarian parent. You are finding it difficult to maintain a tolerant relationship with your child. You may lack the patience to explain to your children why they should avoid certain behaviours because you believe you know better. Instead, you expend little or no energy considering your child’s point of view.

Pay attention to your child. Authoritarian parents believe that children should be seen rather than heard. Be a good listener whether your child is telling you the same joke for the tenth time or sharing a long-winded story. Giving your child positive attention can help prevent behavioural issues.

Validate Your Child’s Feelings. Children can be truant at times, but that does not give you the right to become cold, unfriendly, and harsh towards them. Rather than yelling at them, provide your children with the encouragement and praise they require to develop self-esteem and self-worth.

So, the next time your child is upset, resist the urge to minimise their feelings by saying things like, “It’s not a big deal,” or “Stop crying.” There’s no need to be upset.” It could be a big deal to them. “I know you’re really sad right now,” you can validate their feelings.

Not emotions, but correct behaviour. Tell your child that it’s okay to be angry, but that hitting will result in consequences. It’s fine to be excited, but running around the grocery store is not. Then devote your efforts to teaching them appropriate ways to deal with their emotions.

Take into account your child’s emotions. An authoritarian parent does not empathise with or express feelings for their children. It communicates insensitivity and lack of concern if you make no effort to entertain or understand your child’s emotions. Being such a parent will instil in your children the practise of treating others without regard for how they feel.

Parents expect their children to obey without question and to not disagree with what they say or do. Authoritarian parents typically have one overarching goal: to have their children behave in accordance with their expectations, with no input from their children’s opinions.

Demonstrate to your child that you are in charge, but make it clear that you are concerned about how your decisions will affect everyone in the family.

So, if you’re planning a cross-country move, ask your children how they feel about it, but don’t ask them if it’s OK if you do. Children lack the maturity and experience to make important adult decisions. They feel more secure when they know adults are in charge.

Establish firm ground rules. Instead of saying, “Go to sleep because I said so,” say, “Go to sleep so your body and brain can grow.”

Your child will develop a better understanding of life when they understand the underlying safety concerns, health hazards, moral issues, or social reasons for your rules. They are also more likely to follow the rules if you are not present to enforce them.

Provide a single warning for minor issues. So, don’t waste time saying things like, “Knock it off,” or “Don’t make me tell you again!” Instead, say something like, “If you don’t stop banging your fork on the table right now, you won’t be able to play video games today,” or “If you don’t pick up your toys right now, you won’t be able to go to the park after lunch.”

Demonstrate to your child that you say what you mean and mean what you say. If they do not heed your warning, proceed with the consequences.

Use Life-Long Learning Consequences. Are you the type of parent who doubts your children’s ability to make good decisions? If so, it’s time to reconsider your parenting style. Children raised by authoritarian parents do not have the freedom to demonstrate that they are capable of good behaviour. When you constantly monitor a child to ensure they don’t make mistakes, you limit their ability to make decisions on their own. As a result, your child is deprived of the opportunity to learn valuable life lessons from the natural consequences of their actions.

Consequences are frequently logical. As a result, a child who refuses to turn off their video game may be denied access to video games for 24 hours.

Create consequences to teach your child to do better in the future. Don’t spank them if they hit their sibling. Instead, revoke a privilege. Then, concentrate on teaching better anger management and conflict resolution techniques.

“What can you do the next time you’re upset to avoid hitting?” Then, discuss alternatives to hitting and teach them.

Make the consequences time-sensitive as well. Instead of saying, “You can have your tablet back when I can trust you again,” say, “You can use your tablet again once you can demonstrate your responsibility.” You can demonstrate your responsibility by completing your chores and completing your homework on time every day this week.”

Provide incentives. They use incentives to help a child get back on track when he or she is struggling with a specific behaviour problem. As an example:

A young child refuses to sleep in his own bed. His parents make a sticker chart for him, and he gets one sticker for each night he sleeps in his own bed.

In the morning, a 10-year-old is slow to get ready for school. Every morning, her parents set a timer. She earns the right to use her electronics that day if she is ready before the timer goes off.

A 12-year-old has been forgetting to bring his school assignments home. His parents begin to keep a closer eye on his work. He receives a token for each assignment he brings home. Tokens can be exchanged for larger rewards such as a trip to the park or the chance to invite a friend over. Consider using rewards to teach your child new skills. A simple reward system is a quick and effective way to modify your child’s behaviour.

Allow Your Child to Make Minor Decisions. So, “Do you want peas or corn?” ask your child. Alternatively, “Would you like to clean your room before or after dinner?” The key is to ensure that you can live with either option.

Balance your freedom with your responsibilities. As an example:

A child frequently forgets to pack everything he needs for school. His parents make him a checklist. They ask him to go through the checklist before leaving the house in the morning.

A child has difficulty getting ready for school on time. His parents make a schedule for him to remember when he should get dressed, eat breakfast, and brush his teeth. They remind him to check the time and stick to his plans.

Create a behaviour management plan to support your child’s efforts to become more independent if he or she is having difficulty with something. Provide extra assistance at first, but make sure your child does not become overly reliant on you to tell them what to do. They should become more self-sufficient over time.

Make Mistakes Into Learning Experiences. So, when your child makes a mistake, explain why it was a bad decision. “Taking things that don’t belong to you is wrong,” you say. It hurts other people’s feelings and gives the impression that you are mean or don’t tell the truth.”

When your child causes harm to another person, assist them in making amends. After hitting, insist on them lending their favourite toy to their sister. Alternatively, assist them in apologising to someone they have offended.

If your child is a repeat offender, work together to solve the problem. “This is the second time you’ve missed the bus this month,” you say. “How do you think you’ll get to the bus stop on time?”

Encourage self-control. Don’t try to comfort your child every time they are upset. Instead, teach them relaxation techniques. Also, don’t nag your child about doing their chores. Assist them in becoming more responsible for completing their work on their own.

Create a behaviour management strategy centred on teaching life skills. They will benefit from impulse control, anger management, and self-discipline throughout their lives.

Keep a Positive Relationship With Your Child. Authoritarian parents are friendly and caring. They show affection and understand the importance of nurturing children.

Set aside a few minutes every day to give your child your undivided attention, even on bad days. Spending quality time with your child will help them feel loved and accepted, which is essential for them to feel confident in who they are and what they are capable of accomplishing.

Your children will become who you are; therefore, be the person you want them to be.

Parenting with Permission (Indulgent Parenting).

Permissive parenting is also referred to as indulgent parenting. Permissive parenting is a parenting style distinguished by low demands and high responsiveness. Permissive parents are typically very loving, but they provide few guidelines and rules. When parents are less bossy and punitive and more focused on shaping good behaviour through reasoning and positive emotions, children thrive. Permissive parents are friendly and responsive, which is a good thing. Secure attachment relationships are fostered by affectionate, responsive parenting. These parents do not expect mature behaviour from their children and frequently appear to be more of a friend than a parent. Permissive parents are extremely lax and rarely set or enforce rules or structure. Their catchphrase is frequently “kids will be kids.” While they are usually warm and loving, they make little or no effort to control or discipline their children. As a result of the lack of rules, expectations, and demands, children raised by permissive parents struggle with self-regulation and self-control.

Permissive parents do not regulate or control their children’s behaviour. As a result, their children are less aware of the boundaries of acceptable behaviour. They also have poorer impulse control and more behavioral issues.

Permissive parenting is also referred to as indulgent parenting. Parents with this parenting style place few demands on their children. Discipline is uncommon because these parents have low expectations for self-control and maturity. Permissive parents are more responsive than demanding parents. They are unconventional and lenient, do not require mature behaviour, allow for significant self-regulation, and avoid confrontation.

Parents who are permissive:

  • They are usually very nurturing and loving to their children.
  • When making major decisions, parents should consult with their children.
  • Parents should emphasize their children’s freedom rather than their responsibility.
  • Bribery, such as toys, gifts, and food, may be used to get a child to behave.
  • Often appear more like a friend than a parent.
  • Provide little in the way of structure or a schedule.
  • Consequences are rarely enforced.
  • Are aware of their children’s needs.
  • Are lenient and excessively lax. They despise having power and authority over their children. They do not supervise or direct their children’s behaviour. They have few rules and expectations of their behaviour. There are rules, but they are not consistently followed.
  • Allow children to make major decisions that are normally reserved for adult guardians without supervision.

Permissive parents’ overly relaxed approach to parenting can have a number of negative consequences. Children raised by permissive parents lack self-discipline, have poor social skills, may be self-involved and demanding, and may feel insecure as a result of a lack of boundaries and guidance.

The children of permissive parents:

  • Permissive parents fail to monitor their children’s study habits. As a result, their children have less self-control. Permissive parents do not expect their children to perform or set goals for them to strive for. Academic achievement is lower in the children of permissive parents. Because their parents do not enforce any rules or guidelines, these children struggle to develop good problem-solving and decision-making skills.
  • Children of permissive parents are more likely to be associated with criminal activity, substance abuse, and alcohol-related issues because they have poor impulse control.
  • Permissive parents do not control or regulate their children’s behaviour. They exhibit more aggression and less emotional understanding. As a result, their children are less aware of the boundaries of acceptable behaviour. They also have poorer impulse control and more behavioral issues, especially when they do not get what they want. When confronted with a stressful situation, they are more likely to resort to aggression.
  • These children never learn limits because their homes lack structure and rules. This could result in excessive television viewing, computer gaming, and overeating. These children never learn to limit their screen time or eating habits, which can lead to obesity and unhealthy habits.

Because permissive parenting involves a lack of demands and expectations, children raised by this style of parenting tend to lack a strong sense of self-discipline. They may be more disruptive in school as a result of a lack of boundaries at home, and they may be less academically motivated than many of their peers.

Children may lack social skills if their parents have few expectations for mature behaviour. They may be good at interpersonal communication, but they lack important skills like sharing.

Switching Your Permissive Parenting Style.

If you tend to be a pushover or struggle to enforce rules, think about how you can develop more authoritative parenting habits. This can be difficult at times because it frequently entails becoming stricter, enforcing rules, and dealing with your child’s upset.

Consider the following strategies:

  1. Make a list of basic house rules. Your children must clearly understand your expectations in order to understand how they should behave.
  2. Carry it out. This can be the most difficult for permissive parents, but it is essential. Try to be firm and consistent while remaining loving. Provide adequate feedback and explanations to your children to help them understand why such rules are important, while still ensuring that consequences are in place.
  3. Make sure your children understand the consequences of breaking the rules. Guidelines are meaningless unless there is some sort of penalty for not following them. Time-outs and loss of privileges are logical consequences for breaking the rules of the household.
  4. Reward appropriate behaviour. Try to catch your children being good and give them special privileges when they do.

A Word from the Pros.

Permissive parenting can lead to a variety of issues, so it’s important to consciously try to use a more authoritative approach if you notice these signs in your own parenting.

If you are a more permissive parent, consider how you can help your children understand your expectations and guidelines while also being consistent in your enforcement of these rules. You can ensure that your children grow up with the skills they need to succeed in life by providing them with the right balance of structure and support.

What To Do If Your Parent Is Permissive.

Permissive indulgent parenting can result in a variety of negative outcomes in children.

Here are some strategies to help you get things back on track.

  1. Declare it. Inform your children (and spouse / co-parent) that you will begin using an authoritative parenting style. Assure them that you will continue to be warm and responsive to their needs, but that there will be rules and limits that you will enforce.
  2. Make rules with the children. Hold a family meeting to determine which rules are required. Inquire about their thoughts and weigh the pros and cons. However, you have the final say.
  3. Determine the ramifications of rule violations. There must be clear and reasonable consequences for children who break the rules. Remember to use natural consequences to discipline your children (not to punish).
  4. Carry it out. This is where many permissive parents fail when attempting to break their permissive habits. It can be difficult not only for your children, but also for you, if you are used to being the “nice” parent.

That is yet another reason why using natural consequences is critical. You don’t have to be cruel or the “bad” guy. You are simply modelling new behaviour for your children by allowing them to experience the natural consequence. The goal is to educate, not to punish.

Remember that one of the most important aspects of authoritative parenting that allows for the best outcomes in your children’s upbringing is consistency.

What Should You Do If Your Spouse / Co-Parent Is Permissive?

It is ideal to have two authoritative parents.

However, we cannot always rely on others to change.

If you’ve tried but failed to change your partner, the best thing you can do for your child is to maintain authoritative parenting habits yourself. Children fare better if at least one parent uses authoritative discipline rather than none.

Parenting Without Involvement (Neglectful Parenting)

Because no two parents are alike, it should come as no surprise that there are numerous parenting styles. Still not sure what yours is? Don’t be concerned. Some people know exactly how they want to raise their children when they become parents. However, parenting styles can evolve on their own.

Let’s talk about Uninvolved Parenting today:

Uninvolved parenting, also known as neglectful parenting, has more negative connotations and is a parenting style in which parents do not respond to their child’s needs or desires beyond the basics of food, clothing, and shelter.

Uninvolved parenting is characterized by the absence of responsiveness and demandingness.

These uninvolved parents are uninterested in their child’s life. They do not meet their child’s needs, whether they are physical or emotional. They do not also set limits or discipline their children.

Children raised by uninvolved parents receive little nurturing and guidance from their parents. They are essentially left to fend for themselves.

Parenting styles are generally classified into four broad categories:

  • Authoritarian.
  • Authoritative.
  • Permissive.
  • Uninvolved.

Uninvolved parenting is the newest of the four to be classified, but that doesn’t mean it’s new. It’s an intriguing parenting style because it involves much less hand-holding than other parenting styles.

Their parents provide little guidance, discipline, and nurturing to these children. And too often, children are left to raise themselves and make big and small decisions on their own.

It’s a contentious parenting style, and as a result, it’s easy to pass judgement on these parents. But whether you’re an uninvolved parent or know someone who is, keep in mind that this parenting style isn’t always deliberate.

The reasons why some parents choose to raise their children in this manner vary.

Uninvolved parenting symptoms and characteristics:

Many parents can relate to feeling stressed, overworked, and exhausted. When things get out of hand, you may brush off your child for a few minutes of peace and quiet.

As guilty as you may feel afterwards, these aren’t typical of uninvolved parenting. Uninvolved parenting is more than just being preoccupied with oneself. It’s more of an ongoing pattern of emotional distance between parent and child.

Indifferent parenting is uninvolved parenting.

Neglectful parents are at the opposite end of the responsive spectrum as permissive parents.

Authoritarian parents who have high expectations for their children to meet are the polar opposite of uninvolved parents in terms of demands.

Negligent parenting:

  • Show no affection or warmth toward their children.
  • Act indifferently and distantly. They do not assist or provide for their children’s basic needs.
  • Provide no emotional support, such as belonging or encouragement.
  • Parents should not impose rules, boundaries, or expectations on their children’s behaviour. You should also not monitor or supervise them.
  • They are uninterested in their child’s schoolwork, activities, or performance.
  • Do not participate in their children’s lives in general.

The following are signs of an uninvolved parent:

1. Concentrate on your own issues and desires.

Uninvolved parents are preoccupied with their own affairs, whether it’s work, a social life apart from the kids, or other interests or problems, to the point where they’re unresponsive to the needs of their children and make little time for them.

Everything else takes a back seat to the children. In some cases, parents may completely neglect or reject their children.

Again, it’s not always a choice between a night at the club and family game night. Sometimes issues arise that appear to be beyond a parent’s control.

2. Absence of emotional attachment.

Many people have a natural emotional connection with their children. This bond, however, is not instinctual or automatic in the case of uninvolved parenting. The parent experiences a disconnect, limiting the amount of affection and nurturing they can give to their child.

3. Disinterest in the child’s activities.

Uninvolved parents are uninterested in their child’s schoolwork, activities, or events due to a lack of affection. They may miss sports games or fail to attend PTA meetings.

4. There are no established rules or behavioural expectations.

Discipline is typically lacking in uninvolved parents. As a result, unless a child’s behaviour affects them, these parents rarely offer any type of correction. They let the child do whatever they want. And these parents are unconcerned when their child does poorly in school or in other activities.

Neglectful parents frequently come from dysfunctional families and experienced neglectful or uninvolved parenting as children. Uninvolved parents frequently suffer from mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and alcoholism.

What effects does uninvolved parenting have on children?

Uninvolved parenting is the worst parenting style of the four because children raised with this parenting style fares the worst.

Neglectful parenting can have a negative impact on a child’s development and well-being. It can have the following negative effects on a young child:

  • More impulsive and lacking in self-control.
  • Underachievement in school
  • Less ability to regulate one’s emotions.
  • Inadequate social skills.
  • Self-esteem is low.
  • Increased risk of mood disorders like depression.
  • Borderline Personality Disorder is more likely to develop.

Busy parents are not necessarily neglectful parents. Some parents who work long hours will inevitably have less time for their children. They may, however, remain friendly and caring. They can still show interest in their children’s lives and form emotional bonds when they spend time together, even if it isn’t on a regular basis. When it comes to developing a healthy parent-child relationship, quality trumps quantity.

Negligent parenting is a bad parenting style. Uninvolved parents are uncaring parents who do not care about their children’s well-being.

They are more than just working parents. Uninvolved parents are busy parents who lack involvement because they don’t care.

However, busy parents who lack time for involvement are simply bad time managers.

In this case, being unable to become involved in a child’s life does not imply a desire to become involved in a child’s life.

To thrive, children require love, attention, and encouragement. As a result, it’s not surprising that uninvolved parenting can be harmful to a child.

It is true that children raised by uninvolved parents learn self-reliance and how to meet their basic needs at a young age. Nonetheless, the disadvantages of this parenting style outweigh the benefits.

One significant disadvantage of uninvolved parenting is that these children do not form an emotional bond with their uninvolved parent. Early lack of affection and attention can lead to low self-esteem or emotional neediness in other relationships.

A child’s social skills may suffer as a result of having an uninvolved parent. Because uninvolved parents rarely communicate or engage their children, some children may struggle with social interactions outside the home.

Because parenting styles differ across cultures, the outcomes may differ. Regardless of where they live, children of neglectful parents face more challenges.

Children of uninvolved parents may lack coping skills as well.

When a child develops an emotional distance from their parent, they may replicate this parenting style with their own children. As a result, they may have a similar strained relationship with their own children.

Uninvolved parenting examples:

Depending on the age of the child, uninvolved parenting can take many forms.

Consider the case of an infant. While some parents take advantage of every opportunity to nurture and affectionate their child, an uninvolved parent may feel disengaged or detached from their child.

They may have no desire to hold, feed, or play with the baby. If given the chance, they may give the baby to their partner or a grandparent.

Detachment can be a short-term symptom of postpartum depression rather than a philosophical, life-long parenting choice or style. That is why, if you have postpartum depression, you should seek treatment from your doctor.

However, in the absence of this condition, other factors come into play. A parent, for example,

may feel disconnected if they did not have a bond with their own parents.

In the case of a young child, an uninvolved parent may show little interest in the artwork created by their child, or they may ignore the child while excitably discussing their day.

They may also fail to establish reasonable boundaries, such as bedtimes. In contrast, an authoritative parent listens to their child and encourages open communication while also setting limits when necessary.

If an older child skips school or brings home a poor report card, an uninvolved parent may not impose any consequences, or even react or care. This is in contrast to an authoritarian parent, who is strict and will punish a child who deviates from the rules.

It’s worth noting that uninvolved parenting isn’t usually a conscious decision. It happens for a variety of reasons. It can happen when a parent is overburdened with work and has little time or energy to devote to their child. This can cause a schism in their relationship, causing them to become estranged from one another.

However, this style can develop when a person has been raised by neglectful parents or when a parent has mental health issues that prevent them from forming any type of emotional attachment. If this is the case, this parent may have difficulty bonding with their spouse and others.

Last Words on Uninvolved Parenting:

Regardless of the underlying reasons, if you notice characteristics of uninvolved parenting in yourself, you can change your parenting style.

Seeking counselling to address any mental health issues, past abuse, or other issues that prevent you from forming an emotional bond with your child may be beneficial. This isn’t going to happen overnight, so be patient.

If you want to develop that bond with your child, the desire is a great first step. Discuss with your healthcare provider what you can do to add healthy nurturing to your family dynamic, and know that you’re well on your way to becoming the parent your child requires.

Psychologists and experts agree that children who have an uninvolved or neglectful parent have the worst outcomes. A neglectful mother is more than just a parent who allows her child more freedom or less face time. Negligent parents neglect their other parental responsibilities as well.

Giving your children the best should not imply ignoring the importance of discipline in their lives.